It's all in the way we view life.

 

I've been hesitating to write this post long enough. The week before Christmas 2014 was for my family a very difficult life experience. It was a time of giving of ourselves, receiving from others, hoping beyond hope, despairing when hope was failing us and so many emotions that I cannot put a name to. The week was advent week for the rest of the world around us, a time of expectant hopeful joy and celebration. For me and mine the advent week was a time of watching and waiting for the end of life as we know it for my mother. It began with a telephone call telling us that mom had had another stroke. She was in a comatose state, with her right side non functional. It would be for mom, as the doctor told us, her last. This one was going to end her life. How long the process would take was anyone's guess. We were versed in the progression that mom's life would take from then on. This was my first experience as a participant in the palliative care unit. The end of last year was a great learning experience for me. I was privy to the process we call dying.

What does one do? How does one begin to face the inevitable? My mother was on her death bed and there wasn't a single thing I could do to change the outcome. As we, her children and spouses rallied by her side there was a sort of transformation that took place in us. I noticed that there was little concern for the regular activities of daily life. There was a shift in our personal priorities. Mom became the focus of our attention for the rest of her life.

Mom regained consciousness and was aware of her surroundings and the people that were attending to her needs. I recall during one of my awake sessions with mom that I was doing for her what she had so lovingly done for me as a baby. Mom was totally dependent on others for her every need. What transpired in that room in the seven days before Christmas was for me a Christmas miracle.

I have spent time revisiting the events of that week and the many blessings that accompanied it. I for one have always considered such time as dying, but to my  surprise I witnessed mom living every moment of those last days. I saw her smiling at my sometimes stupid jokes, clapping hands to music and welcoming everyone who came into the room to pay her a visit. We reminisced those moments we had with mom over her life. I've come to the conclusion that she wasn't dying at all but living every moment until her last. She probably knew that her life was nearing an end, but I don't know that for sure.

That week before Christmas was a long hard week with tears and many heart wrenching moments as we tended to mom's needs. I think that the best way to express the experience of the week is to say that we walked mom home. She arrived safely at the door of her new home accompanied by those who considered her worth the effort to see her not alone in her final hours.

To my sisters and brother I am ever grateful for the accompaniment during what would have been a most painful time alone. To mom's brothers and sisters also go a heartfelt thank you for their time on mom's epic journey. As difficult as that week was I consider it a great experience.

what is a papa?

We had our grand daughter and her Cousin over for the weekend. They had planned a surprise for Papa.

When they got up this morning they were ready to start on Papa's surprise, even before breakfast! Uh Uh Papa eats breakfast, no ifs, and or buts.

This special surprise involved giving me a Shoulder massage, foot massage, facial, manicure, pedicure and of course the wonderful face makeover. I had a pretty good idea that I would be treated royally and pampered by these two little eight year old ladies.

The shoulder rub and foot massage with lotion were to relax me(so I was told) and they asked often if I was relaxed.

I had to choke back laughter constantly and poor Patricia lost it several times especially when she saw the pink ears being clipped on to the hair I don't have. I thought she would split from the laughter.

Look at that color coordination on the hands and feet! Cool or what?
The whole thing took place with my eyes closed. I was not allowed to peek even a little! Can you guess why? Who says there aren't miracles these days. Look at the transformation!

All in all today must have been a blast for these two.They made me almost too pretty for words : )

You must click on the pictures for the full effect. It is priceless.

So what do you think, do these two little ones have a future in the salon business?

Saying goodbye

This past week has been a harried one for this neck of the woods.

We lost one of our cherished aunts.
Only fifty nine years old and still so full of life this woman body was ravaged by cancer.

Our daughter was very emotional over this favored aunt and, unable to say what was in her heart, wrote a beautiful piece that reminded me that one never does enough while the living we care so much for are still with us.
In her writhing she mentioned neglecting to take the time to go pay her a visit, always too busy, to many other things to take care of and now the guilt that is associated with that knowledge.

As I ponder my daughter's words I have to reflect on my own behavior toward those I consider good company and why I don't always take time to keep in touch.
To take friends for granted is far too easy and I get comfortable thinking I will get to it later.

Well sometimes later is too late and then guilt settles in for a devastating tour of duty.
I see it in our daughter and I have to stand there and watch as grief tears at her heart. Except to give comfort at this time I'm helpless to her in her grief.
I come from a very large extended family (numbering in the one hundred and forty first cousins) and keeping track of so many names and faces is nearly impossible, except for internet technology,
It is true that an E-mail isn't the same as a face to face with a person but it is so much better than what we had even twenty years ago when I was "too busy" to take up pen and paper.
We lost not only an aunt but a good friend as well..

I have nothing but fond memories of this beautiful lady( who happens to be younger than me) and I will remember both uncle Joe and aunt Cheryl  with a smile in my heart.

May they both rest in peace with our Lord and Savior in eternity.

Grandchildren, what a riot

This weekend has been often times a funny one.
Three of our grandchildren and our daughter are visiting. The oldest is thirteen and spending as much time with a "girl-friend" as mom will allow ;)

The other two are being as close to two ogres as a six and nine year old can.
Too funny.

The youngest is Papa's helper always trying to second quess what I will need next and fetching, always fetching something.

He took up the floor broom and swept a patch of floor in my garage and wondered if I would pay him for the "work". Of course I have to fork it over now :)

The two youngest were digging in the garden like a pair of gophers when I planted the twenty eight tomatoes and then there were the cucumbers and squash to contend with.

A pair of real workaholics, well at least for about half an hour when they both wilted for all the hard digging.

The marsh mellow roasting is always on the agenda when they come. They even want to sit around the fire in winter.

It's very quiet here now with all in bed.
Little blessings zonk-out like lights at the end of a day here.