Saturday, August 7, 2010


These last couple of days I have had to look seriously at my independently motivated living.
With my right arm totally disabled I am having difficulty just buttoning the waistband on my pants.
I have to depend almost totally on Patricia for the basic needs of my day.
That is so foreign to me because I have been the guy that provides answers and solutions for so many people for years.
My independence has led me into a false sense of security
What am I to learn from this experience?
Reflecting on this question I am realizing the gift of having to ask someone for help.
After only one day I am coming to the realization that asking for help is the basis for truly meaningful relationships.
To allow someone the privilege of being a helping hand without making the other feel like he or she is being used has the  potential of building up the confidence and self worth of the other.
I say this from my own experience as a helping hand in need.
Today I am going to begin to let go of the neediness in me to always be the giver and try to allow someone else to be the giver in my place.
After all I think that the world I live in can function quite well without my interference.

Out of this experience I hope to learn a new truth (to me anyway).


  1. "the gift of having to ask someone for help..." Must say I never saw it this scratch my back and I'll scratch yours ...right?

    You two ...have help me a lot over the last few years...I hope you haven't felt used...:)

  2. I think we are faced with this issue at one time or another in our life...Last summer my husband had to a hip replacement and for the first time in our married life, he was not the strong one taking care of everything....He said it was a very humbling experience and showed him he did indeed need others.....We were both amazed at how it brought us closer to each other.

    God always seems to have these lessons for us that reflect spiritual insights.....Isn't He a good God...?

    Is this a permanent issue or will you have surgery.....I'd love to pray for you if you feel so led to share....

    Have a great weekend...

  3. Well bro, you have certainly been the king of helping, I can imagine what a turn around this has been for you. Kudos for your being able to recognize and accept the complete role reversals going on while you heal...

  4. OOPS!

    I had to delete the post because it didn't preview first. So here is what I intended to post.

    My dear friends
    I have not, nor will I ever feel used by anyone I consciously decide to give a helping hand to. I consider it my call from God who has created all of us for the purpose of showing and giving love at the right time.
    Thanks for being there at the right time.

    And yes Nancy I have had the surgery on Thursday and all went well. It is recovery time for the next two months.
    The role reversal is something I needed to learn.
    All prayers are gratefully received.
    The miracle I was praying for is delivered but not the way I was asking for.
    God is soooo wonderfull.

  5. Being independent and strong is such a blessing and a hindrance. It can keep us in the mind set of I can do it, and in reality we probably are able to. But it keeps us from asking for help, from either our Abba, or others.

    Yes, God is gentle and so very gracious!!

    May your arm heal quickly and completely!


  6. I'm with's a double edged sword.
    I think when we begin to think that it's our strength (or gifts or talents)
    that give us value
    (and isn't that the human condition)
    we begin to lose our graftedness
    into the One we really draw
    every bit of value and life from.

    It's all about branch-life!
    P.S. Glad to see you have a blog.
    Hope you don't mind if I tag along.

  7. Thank you all for the support and prayers.
    Humbling as it may be, dependence on someone else does have it's blessings for both I am learning.
    To Jennifer
    The top of my page says "Y'all are welcome here".
    I hope anyone who visits my pages gets some sort of blessing from it.

  8. Hi Francois! I saw your comment on Nancy's blog and had to come over and meet you.

    It sounds like you are such a giving person which makes this much more difficult for you, but you know what I've learned? Or I am still learning- is that giving happens in many different forms. It seems I am always on the gift end of receiving from others and I'm always asking God, "when will I ever get to be the one who gives. It seems in times of need when my husband lost his job many years ago etc.., that God blessed us through others in unbelievable ways and I've always felt I fell short of being able to give back in this same dynamic way. But then my sister and other friends have reminded me that I give in my own special ways such as through encouraging or helping out someone physically etc.. Not tooting my own horn here but just to say that I'm sure Francios, that you are still giving in many other ways! You just sound like that kind of person. Maybe God is just going to give you more opportunity to use another side of yourself for HIM.

    Sorry I was so wordy! Hope I didn't scare you.

    Lee Ann